"I can’t believe this ...

can’t be happening ...
I do not want to believe ...

is a lie ...

I can’t contain this ...
This desire ...
I have...

What’s going on...?"

I couldn’t believe what was happening, the tears out of my cheeks without realizing it, could not be happening ...

Now he ...

I knew, that day, his tone wasn’t ... as always, the kiss that gave me without saying anything… gave me that feeling ... but now ..

there's nothing ...

"He’s dead ... and I couldn’t do anything ..."

were the words that came out with my tears, when I realized that he died ...

I did not know that Mello would be able to do that, for me ...

Now everything was different colour, "I'll be returning Dalton?", I wondered, nothing made sense now, without him ...

I thought several times to leave my life, suicide, but I remembered the words I heard Mello told that once a person about to commit suicide ...

"Suicide is cowardly, life is to enjoy it, get what you want, be happy !"...

Every time I remembered that, the wound of my heart is increasingly opening up, my heart that had already broken and without feeling, every time I remember you ...

"Forget it ... it is not so much for" My mind says ...

but no...

"To forget is to deceive oneself, a trap ..." was my response...

I didn’t want, didn’t want to forget ...

Until one day...

I decided to go Mello’s house ...

to remember him once more ...

I never go to his place...

being in Mello’s house was one of the things I had not thought never do, but this feeling was stronger than me ...

When I was in his house, My world almost collapses, not find him, It hurt me more than the things he made me...

I still remember his last words before he go...

When, for me either, Mello stopped being with me, telling me ... "It hurt you less if we fail to see us, I do not expect to meet again, never until Near…

He gave me the last smile that I see and gave me the last kiss I receive for him, and went through the door, forever, out of my life..

I was so concentrated on my thoughts, that I didn’t realized, in the table was a letter, I received a pangs of pain in the chest, the letter read: "To you, My Dear Near ..."

Slowly, again with tears in my eyes, I opened the letter ...

"I do not expect to be alive when you read this letter Near, but I must tell you many things ...

If you forget how to smile, I have this to tell you, Remember it once in a while, that life is like a chocolate, sometimes marvellously sweet, and sometimes horribly bitter, but have to rescind it, you must also know that We weren't put on this earth to suffer and cry, We were made for being happy, I didn’t not what prompted me to write this, it's stupid I know, I've never been good to express my feelings, but I’m very good at get carried away by them, Only 2 things before finishing my letter ..., I will miss you much even if I decide to not see you more, I will miss you, I repent of my decision, but it will be the best, that will make you suffer no more, I'm sorry by all, the last thing ...

I wish that despite everything, you're happy, we are on this earth to be happy, not be sad because problems of the past, not suffer for unimportant things like repeated top, so ...be happy...for me, for you, please...

I think that were still things I wanted to tell you, but I know that you know it very well... I can no longer continue ... this is my farewell, I wanted to always know this, even though it says otherwise, and against everything and everyone, I Love You, nobody can deny, and you know, more than anyone else ...

Until never Near as I said that day ... "

I felt like it lost the last part of me, but also I felt support, I knew it was dead, but also knew it was with me, that he wasn’t go of my side ... That encouraged me ...

After all ... I learned in this life that we were here to be happy, and I managed it, at that time I was with Mello, I was happy ...

Slowly I kept the letter, which helped me a lot when I did not know what to do, and go ahead ...

for him...